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19 September 2006 at 06:07

das itinerary

Found a free internet PC in Vienna airport, to check some blogchum blogs. 2 flights gone, one to go.

Thanbks to my recurring NPD, I decided to post my itinerary, in case the next plane plummets:

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AIR DALY WATERS - DW 1
SUN 17SEP MCDONALD ISLAND INTERNATIONAL - SYDNEY AT 1450 1610

AUSTRIAN - OS 2
MON 18SEP SYDNEY NS VIENNA AT 1650 0610
DURATION 21:20

SYDNEY NS -KUALA LUMPUR
KUALA LUMPUR -VIENNA
EQUIPMENT: BOEING 777-200/200ER
SEAT 01G NO SMOKING CONFIRMED

AUSTRIAN - OS 271
TUE 19SEP VIENNA AT BERLIN TEGEL DE 0730 0850
VIENNA INTL TEGEL
NON STOP DURATION 1:20
NON SMOKING
FLIGHT OPERATED BY VO TYROLEAN AIRWAYS
EQUIPMENT:FOKKER 100


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As you can see, I cashed in my British Airways ticket at the last minute, and rebooked with a different airline, in an attempt to avoid the jinx. My neighbour said to me last week "if your number's up, there's nothing you can do about it." Yet he's a cop, and makes a living out of preventing people's number coming up.

If anyone wants to make some money from the National Enquirer or the News Of The World, by showing them the recent posts that prove that I was given a prophecy by the clairvoyant, it's all yours. Sell to the highest bidder.

Later:

Bad news for fortune hunters - I have just survived the third flight too. What was I so worried about? I'm glad it's over. Now I can start worrying about the return flights next month.

I'm now at my old bunker in Berlin, which has been turned into das easyinternetcafe.com, a sort of electronic Starbucks franchise.

The flights were just amazing! As you might expect by now, there were upsides and downsides, keeping everything balanced overall.

Downside: Weeks of post-viral malaise blew out into depression.

Upside: The partner gave me a lovely card at the airport,

Downside: when I opened the card in the plane I nearly wept.

Upside: one effect of traversing so many time zones is that you hit one mealtime after another. Between Monday evening and Tuesday morning, I ate 5 full meals (two of them were 5 courses).

Downside: the cabin crew kept waking me with more food and drink.

Upside: I won´t need to eat again today. I can blow the food money on internet.

But the best upside of all was this - because I`m in this country at the invitation of some former high-ranking staff, I travelled business class and billed it all to them. And you should see the long-haul business class seats. The`re full of electric motors, and infinitely adjustable right down to a full-length bed! When they've finished feeding you the five courses plus chocolate and liqueurs, then you press the button to convert to a bed, and they come and tuck you up under a blanket. Even the womb was never this good. There`s even a button that makes the bed start massaging you. Of course it could never be as good as a real massage (e.g. one of keda's astral projection rub-downs), but it sure beats sitting bolt upright for 23 hours in the sewage class cabin.

If I was rich enough, I'd just travel the world on an infinite round-the-world business class fare. Rich people aren't any better than the rest of us, but I noticed one difference:

Normally, when you're in an economy-class toilet on a long trip, people rattle the handle and bang on the door, even though the wee sign states quite clearly "Occupied". They're suffering from Retention Defecit Disorder. Sometimes a proletarian with a poor toilet-training history even tries to kick the door down while you're in there.

Business class people never do that. They hold their bladders and wait patiently. Deferred gratification is what separates the middle class from the animals.

Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Heil! Well done for surviving all the meals and arriving safely in the Fatherland!For a whole month? Shame they turned your old bunker into an internet cafe! Still once you've goosestepped about a bit, you can start barking out some orders. That should help! Hotboy  

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Blogger Eric said...

I've always wanted to visit Berlin. I would definitely take a stroll through the parks in the city. Funny how all the words are grouped together in German...have a greatfrigginpartytillyoupassout vacation...  

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Blogger Lee Ann said...

That flight sounds amazing! I want to experience that!
I hope you have a wonderful time! Keep us posted.  

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Blogger ion said...

Leave a flower for me at Rosa Luxemburg's memorial on the canal in the Tiergarten, if you have time. And make sure to fortify yourself with some fine Weissbier.  

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Blogger robmcj said...

my dear blogchums, it's a treat to log on here on the other side of the world and pick up your comments - life is looking up. Or as a wise woman once counseled me to say to myself: "the universe is unfolding as it should". Mind you, the same person used to say "there are no 'shoulds' in the universe."  

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