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24 August 2006 at 16:33

HNT four weird things with archive clickypic

Months ago, even before the World Cup, I was tagged by the incomparable Lelly to write "Six weird facts/habits about yourself".

The Rules: "Post six weird facts/habits about yourself. These cannot be used against you later on! At the end of the post name the six people you will tag next. Leave them a comment to let them know they've been tagged and to read your blog."

Well, I've broken the rules in several places. I'm not tagging anyone (unless they ask me), and because this post was getting too long for an HNT, I'm going to save the heavy-duty weirdness about sex, chocolate etc. for another post.




Children. I have no kids of my own. There have been times when I have enjoyed looking after friends' kids, but I've never wanted to own one. I have a huge admiration for parents, but I agree with Jimmy Savile, who said "Kids? I love them, but I couldn't eat a whole one."

Like my father before me, my skills lie in raising dogs, not humans. Of course, if my father had stuck to breeding spaniels I wouldn't exist now. So I shouldn't complain.

My parents before I was born
(click to see how my arrival changed their lives)



Yes, my father's dog-training skills were useful with children too. He brought up me and my brother using commands like "sit!" and "stay!" and "don't move!"

Conception. A one-night stand, decades ago, resulted in a daughter whom I have never seen, and even if I wanted to track her down, what would be the point? Let sleeping dogs lie.

Therapeutic inappropriate behaviour. I would love to have been a clown. I like to use shock tactics to make people feel good. With adults, I delight in inappropriate remarks and stories. At funerals and weddings, I specialise in the sort of tactless remark that leads to horrified laughter or sometimes stunned silence.

Or I'll brutally ask friends about their bodily functions, as if we were discussing the weather. I think I learned this approach when I trained and practised as a counsellor - you make people gasp, and some of their repressed feelings come spilling out.

With kids, a good way to loosen them up is to pretend to get things wrong. I'll sing them a well-known song with deliberately wrong words. For example, Madonna's song becomes: When you call my name, I'm like a football player, I'm down on my knees, I'll take the kick from there. Kids go mental when you get the words wrong.

Or if I'm looking after 2 children, I make sure I mix their names up. Or I might swear blind that Zinadine Zidane played for Zimbabwe. Kids love being able to tell adults off. This usually works well, though occasionally a kid reacts by clubbing the stupid adult over the head.

Housework. I find housework easy. At age 6 or so, I used to do the vacuuming in our house. My mother brainwashed me to believe that it was a big treat, and I'm glad she did.

But I don't like to do unnecessary work, so I try to streamline things whenever I can. For example, after cooking porridge for breakfast, cleaning the saucepan is a real pain. And then you're only going to dirty it again tomorrow morning. So why bother cleaning it? Instead, simply stick the porridgey pan in the fridge to prevent the stuck-on stuff from festering. Then tomorrow, just re-use it, and the heat will re-sterilise it. With this system, you only need to wash the porridge pan once a year, at the end of winter. Result - you get back several extra hours of your life, to spend doing other stuff. Like blogging about the time you've saved.

HNT_1

If you missed previous HNTs, you can access all the old half baked thursday posts here.

Blogger Sexy Duet said...

Thanks for the washing up tip, I wonder if that works for other foods too. Happy HNT!

Ms SD  

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Blogger Isolde said...

I like the modified pic. Cute.
HHNT!  

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Blogger LEE ANN said...

Rob, you are amazing!
A daughter!? Wow, that was something I didn't know or expect to hear. I can only imagine standing there talking about the weather and you bring up bodily functions! That certainly would earn you some different looks if nothing else. I am glad your dad decided to raise a kid in addition to the spaniel, it would be hard to correspond with a spaniel.
A clown? hmmm I would like to see that!
Deliberate missung songs to kids, I bet all the kids adore you. You give them a reason to feel important around you and a good laugh.
I will have to look again at the picture when I get home...I can click it here at work.
Happy HNT!
~xo  

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Blogger Suze said...

Oh no! I was tagged too and I forgot. I agree cats are mush less trouble. My nephew comes to stay over night sometimes and I'm always happy to give him back.

Happy HNT sweetie ;)  

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Blogger Crimson said...

Interesting...
I do the same thing with skillets sometimes :)  

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Blogger Lelly said...

At LAST! I'd given up hope, like I have with Suze! ;) But Rob really, is this the best you can do? Hardly weird at all, sounds like the regular behaviour of most of my friends, only none of them have ALL your foibles! LOVE your HNT pic, thanks for playing!  

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Blogger Jinsane said...

I love all sorts of weirdness!! I'm one of the weirdest people I know.

I love the pic!! HHNT!  

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Blogger LEE ANN said...

I came back home during lunch...awwww, you are so adorable.
The puppy is cute, but you are much cuter.
Happy HNT!
~xo  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Zeig! What do you mean you've got a daughter? Of course, you should ... maybe not. She might have been nursing the illusion that her daddy was a film star or something! Dearie me. Her mother must have been drunk! Was it dark? Anyway, how's about the really weird stuff? Let's have it, Adolf! Nobody knows who you are except me and I won't tell ... just put the cheque in the post. That would help! Hotboy  

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Blogger Mommyof3 said...

Very very cute....HHNT, have a good weekend!  

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Blogger barefoot_mistress said...

LOL @ that clicky pic! Too funny!
HHNT!  

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Blogger robmcj said...

SD - I've also tested it on soup, and main courses. Let me know if you do the dessert research.

LA - about the daughter - I thought it was time to start coming clean, before I go up in the air for days on end. There's so much more, I'll never blog it all in time.

Suze - cats are the least trouble of all, until they get their claws stuck in your breeks and go feral. Then you may have to drop your trousers in a hurry. Don't you find that?

Lelly - thanks for the thanks. No, it's not the best I can do, this is only the small stuff. Watch this space!

Jinsane - can you prove it?

HB - my daughter's bigger than yours. But you're right, the mother was on the weed at the time. Said it was the best bonk she ever had. but then they all say that, don't they?  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Heil! Are you going to land in Berlin like Napoleon did in France from Elba. Able was I ere I saw Elba. Now that would be a post to mull over! Hotboy  

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Blogger lime said...

omg, this was hilarious. the photoshopped pic and the porridge pot were toooo much. i love it. and yes, it is great fun to goof things up intentionally.

HHNT  

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Blogger SeaRabbit said...

Wow!! Hard life... but I like that attitude toward kids... ;-) It's true that playing dumb always make them truely happy!
Happy HNT!  

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Blogger Schadeboy said...

I'm all over that stuff with the kids. I do the same thing all the time. It's a lot of fun.

Since I don't eat porridge, I can't help but wonder if your pot-cleaning tactic would work on macaroni and cheese?  

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Blogger Menzies Milngavie III said...

I say!

I saw a Zinadine opening the batting for Bulawayo, but I don't think he got into the national side.

MM III  

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Blogger Menzies Milngavie III said...

I say,

On your comments so far are four pictures of breasts, a camel, moi and some normal people.

MM III  

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Blogger robmcj said...

schadeboy - let me know if you try it

MM - I know, but how can I keep the normals out?  

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