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15 March 2006 at 07:38

real football

There has been a lot of blogging about different flavours of football at the bliss blog. Here's my guide to football:

Growing up as a member of the Scottish lower middle class, I had to play Rugby Union at school to build my character. It's a miserable game for bullies and psychos. You're expected to make diving tackles in Scottish wintertime, landing on frozen mud sculpted into sharp points.

Here on the UnHeard Of Island, the main winter game is Rugby League. The TV companies spend a lot of money on it, so the camerawork and commentary make it fantastic to watch. I once went to see a live match in the stadium - it was a poor substitute for watching it on TV lying on the floor at home with a bottle of Number 8.

Australian Rules Football is a crap game. They try to make it exciting by putting in extra goal posts (8 goal posts!), they play extra halves (4), and they have extra scores (e.g 12 119 23). But it's still complete crap. Basically it's a pack of tall ex-convicts in singlets jumping high in the air for no good reason except to elbow each other in the face. Actually, I'm making it sound more interesting than it really is. The only watchable part is when someone scores, then the referee does a mime of Thomas The Tank Engine.

Soccer is good once every 4 years. The Aussies actually qualified for the World Cup this year, so the whole country will be unsufferable until they're knocked out. They're dreaming of beating England. Such faith! Australia should make the most of the Commonwealth Games in Melbourne this week, where they'll grab most of the medals ahead of tiny countries like St Kitts, and the UnHeard Of Islands.

The nicest thing you can say about American Football is that it's appropriate for American TV. For example, there are far too many player substitutions and pauses for ad breaks. Although for me, the ad breaks are actually the best part.

Blogger Michael Harris said...

aint heard of australian footy till now!

Need a good laugh?
Well that’s why I’m here. My blog contains silly pictures I edited on paint shop pro just to lighten up your day. Check it out at:
www.funnyeditedpictures.blogspot.com

Don’t 4get to comment or leave any ideas for future pictures

Thanks!  

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Blogger Lee Ann said...

Funny thing about American football. It is huge here in the states. Here in the south (especially in Alabama) College football is the main feature. Then there are other areas (like South Florida) that is all about the Pro football. It can be an interesting pastime. The big thing people do is tailgating. This is when they join friends prior to the game in the parking lot and grill burgers, or have sandwiches, fried chicken or cheese and wine.
It is a social event.  

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Blogger robmcj said...

Lee Ann tailgating sounds good. But do you have to watch the game at some point?  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Zeig! Nothing beats divebombing in zee stukas! They started showing American Football during the god slot on Sunday evenings when Channel Four started about twenty years ago. The game only lasts an hour!! Wonderful game. Poetry in motion! Where else will you see an ex-Olympic hurdler running for his life? Fab. So is Rugby League in Oz. NSW versus those northerners? Great sport. Nothing compares to watching Tommy Hearns fighting Sugar Ray Leonard. Courage, violence, artistry. Compared to boxing, Rubgy Union is for big English girls!! Hotboy  

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Blogger keda said...

".....it was a poor substitute for watching it on TV lying on the floor at home with a bottle of Number 8." i wholeheartedly agree.
personally though i do LOVE a bit of real footie (soccer). mainly for the boys legs, but of course because i watched it since childhood and its also something thats easy to play anywhere.
thats the main reason i really want my girls to learn to play football at school. stuff netball and all that useless rubbish. if you can kick a ball you can make friends and amuse yourself anywhere- even if you can't find a ball!  

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Blogger robmcj said...

Keda - are you saying they let girls play football in Turkey?

Michael - I'll be linking some of your artwork in the future, if that's OK with you.  

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