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31 December 2005 at 07:33

tag it easy

Here's a nice easy 3x3 tag for New Year's Eve:

  1. Three 2005 achievements you're proud of, no matter how small.


  2. Three 2005 events that delighted you, no matter how small.


  3. Three 2005 events that appalled you. Excluding meteorological events like tsunamis and hurricanes.


  4. I'm tagging (in no particular order):

    hotboy
    lee ann
    doviko
    heather
    ray ray
    menzies
    stone
    carsey
    jaxe

    You can do the tag here and/or at your own place (then put a link here). If I haven't tagged you, please tag yourself.

    Oops! Nearly forgot to tag myself. I've got all today to work out my answers. I may cheat and go over 3.

    Happy New Year in the meantime. And just remember: everything balances up in the end.





Definition of carbon dating: - when two old people go out together.

Blogger Stone said...

Three 2005 achievements
1. Finished College
2. Did a hard job and finished it
3. Opened my heart to a new experience

Three 2005 events that delighted
1. Had the best Chocolate I had in awhile
2. Hear my mother voice on my voicemail
3. Saw Adam and held in all night long

Three 2005 events that appalled you
1. New Orleans Disaster
2. Knowing we are being Spied on
3. Missing Bath and Body works Semi Annual Sale twice  

~

Blogger robmcj said...

Missing the sale twice! That's appalling. My mother's voice on the voicemail is always a welcome reminder that she's 12,000 miles away. Actually that's not fair, you've reminded me that I've been having some great phone conversations with her this year.  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Zeig! Prince Fung Paracite Basturn William becoming chairman of the footie association still appalls me. Apart from that I can't think today. Happy Hogmanay to you and all the penguins on the Unheard of Island! |Hope that helps! Hotboy  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Heil! I don't do proud. Or achievements. Even small ones. But here goes:
1) Ra bliss can come on through doing yoga nidra.
2) I managed to go into a headstand then into a lotus then sit down in a lotus.
3) I started the Pet Bereavement Counselling Service.

Three delightful things.
1) I set up a webpage for my books.
2) Seeing Adolf doing the salute in the photie
3)Michi Regier sticking me on her clicky list.

Three appalling things
1) Prince William being given an Upper second by St Andrews University. Everyone knows the whole family is thick!
2) Prince William being made chairman of the Football Association.
3) The Royal Family is always appalling!  

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Blogger Lee Ann said...

Three '05 achievements
1. moved to a new place
2. met many new people via blog
3. have wireless computers at home

Three '05 events that delighted
1. met many new people via blog
2. seen several good movies
3. bought a new dvd player

Three '05 events that appalled you
1. The war
2. The hungry
3. The poverty

Happy New Year! Be safe, and have fun.  

~

Blogger robmcj said...

HB - thanks, I'd be interested to hear more about the prohibition on feeling pride. Do you take a pride in that?

LA - tell us about the movies some time?

I haven't finished my own list yet, I'm stuck at the last part, trying to remember feeling appalled about anything.  

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Blogger sasfdasfdljkfksdjkfjsd said...

you're supposed to actually do the tag yourself before you start taggin' other people! :-O  

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Blogger robmcj said...

Ray Ray, I know, I'm sorry, I got stuck at the last section, I'm so callous I couldn't think of anything appalling.

What does :-O mean, I wonder?  

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.  

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Post a Comment

30 December 2005 at 11:17

a scottish new year to you

An Old Gaelic Blessing:

May those who love us love us.
And those that don't love us,
May God turn their hearts.
And if he doesn't turn their hearts,
May he turn their ankles…
So we'll know them by their limping.

Blogger Lee Ann said...

I love that!
Happy Scottish New Year to you!  

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Blogger Just Some Gal said...

LOL at that prayer!!

Love it. A happy one to you too!  

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Blogger sasfdasfdljkfksdjkfjsd said...

oh shit, that's a good one!

happy new year dude!  

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Blogger sasfdasfdljkfksdjkfjsd said...

and re: haloscan, I did the auto-install it worked well but two things.

it will delete your old blogger comments, there's sort of a way to save them but I didn't.

and 2, you have to pay for email notification, blogger does that free.  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Zeig! Thank Gott in Himmel that we've got through the horrorshow stuff and are now into the Hogmanay! I never feel bad on Hogmanay! It's the holiday for me! It's cold today and wet and miserable and I'm staying in!! Hope this helps. Shame about the thousand year Reich, but you can't have everthing! Hotboy  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Checked Samsaramom's and you can't comment unless you're a polar bear. It's decrimination against Germans, but you've got a good football team and that helps, doesn't it? Hotboy  

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Blogger Sam I Am said...

Came across your blog by way of (Stone)nice reading,thank you for sharing,Happy New year.  

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Post a Comment

26 December 2005 at 10:30

christmas scene on the unheard of islands



Of course, this photo is about 6 months old. Our Christmas happens in June.

Blogger Lee Ann said...

Oh that is absolutely adorable! Precious!  

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Blogger kimmyk said...

Aww....that poor polar bear!  

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Blogger Menzies Milngavie III said...

I say, Robmcj.

Hope the stuffed penguin went down well.

To go with the polar bear, here is a recording of 'singing icebergs' from Sciencemag: http://www.sciencemag.org/content/vol310/issue5752/images/data/1299/DC1/Muller.AudioS1.wav
or is it really Hotboy trying to verbalise 'RaBliss' from his hut on UnHeard?

MM III  

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Blogger Morgan said...

LOL! that's funny! poor little bear. ;oD  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Zeig! Hope you had a nice Christmas! That's bound to help! Hotboy  

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Blogger Stone said...

Thanks for the visit and happy new year to you. I would trade position with you now if I could. I miss my baby so much. Stop in anytime  

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Blogger Stone said...

PS I had never even heard about Heard and McDonald Islands I just did google earth to see where you were. WoW that is far. Lets keep popping in on each other  

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Blogger Mary P. said...

Once he wakes up, it'll be poor little penguins. The bear will wake thinking, "How about that? Dinner music with my appetizers!", and boom! two less penguins on the planet. Burp. Polar bears are serious fierce.

(Good thing for penguins that polar bears live at the other end of the earth...)  

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Blogger robmcj said...

Mary p - you're dead right, in fact bears of all sorts give me the willies. When I was 11 I spent a sleepless night in a log cabin in the middle of nowhere (North Michigan) with a bear rubbing itself against the outside of my bedroom wall. I asked my uncle to reassure me that it couldn't get into the house. He said if it wanted to, it could punch a hole through the wall, no problem.  

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Post a Comment

24 December 2005 at 08:44

final preparations

Christmas Eve is such a busy time for everyone, last-minute shopping. I'm so lucky I had the foresight not to have any friends, and to live 12000 miles from my family - shopping problem solved without even leaving the house!

Here at Spud's mum's place in Sydney, we're over the riots now, and more worried about bushfires. Today's forecast is for hot gales - 38 degrees, bone dry and windy, so we may have a ringside seat for some spectacular bushfires, accidental or otherwise. Hotboy would love it here, he'd have no problems raising heat. I've wrapped wet towels round the barrel, with a fan playing on the towels, so at least the yeast should survive even if we don't. What can go wrong?

I had hoped to to fly up to Daly Waters on Boxing Day, but what's the point when there's a total fire ban in operation, and no chance of being allowed to light a barbie with Carsey and Spud?

Blogger Carslemane Foraix said...

G'day Robbo. Sorry to hear about the riots. Did they up the price of XXXX?  

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Blogger robmcj said...

Spud's mum says it was bound to happen one day, ever since they let those refugees into the country, back in 1770.  

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Blogger Lee Ann said...

Wow, Riots and bush fires. Sounds like you have had some excitement. Have a Merry Christmas!  

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Blogger Carslemane Foraix said...

Robbo,

Hope Spud was not too incoherent when he phoned him Mum. It seemed to get a bit heated, didn't it?

Will she still be sending him the cheque?  

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Blogger sasfdasfdljkfksdjkfjsd said...

I have a similar arrangement with my family , only they only think I live on a remote desert isle.  

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Blogger robmcj said...

Carsey, you're so lucky you weren't here - they closed the bottle shops altogether. Spud's mum spat the dummy when he asked her for a loan, but I could forge her signature on a cheque if he wants. Ask Spud.

Ray Ray, let me know if you ever want to use my address as a cover. And can I pretend to live at your place if my family ever wash up on the island?  

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Post a Comment

22 December 2005 at 16:42

HNT 10 - self examination

There is no greater delight than to be conscious of sincerity on self-examination.
-- Mencius


I should have known right from the first day at the conference that my own star billing was jinxed.

On the first morning I had got stuck in traffic, so by the time I arrived flustered at the venue, the conference was already starting and everyone else was already seated in the lecture theatre.

Someone handed me a name-badge, and to avoid missing too much of the first presentation I tried to pin the badge to my chest at the same time as I raced to the toilet to take a leak.

Standing at the urinal - hurry! hurry! - I wrestled the badge one-handed to pin it to my shirt, but after a few attempts it still wasn't straight.

So I had a brainwave - hurry! hurry! - waddle over to the mirror, adjust the name-badge, then finish my pee.

Which is why the guy who came in the gents at that moment took one look at me apparently admiring my willy in the mirror, turned and went back out.

If he was one of the conference organisers, that would explain why my own paper was then mysteriously "dropped" from the programme.



I cheated this week, that's not me in the last picture.

If you missed previous HNTs, you can access all the old half naked posts here..

HNT_1

Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Zeig! Mayhap a slight case of he protesteth too much about this one, I fear. Is this not another facet of this exhibitionist thing which has surfaced now and again on this blog? Do you like people looking at you, Adolf? Remember Nuremburg! Heil! I hope this helps. Hotboy  

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Blogger Menzies Milngavie III said...

I say Mr Robmcj!

When attending large public fora in foreign lands, I always take my red neckband with me, and hang the name-badge from it. This avoids puncturing expensive shirts and fiddling with safety pins.

However, I visit Open Text to invite you to have a stab at answering a literary question over at my blog.

Are there turkeys on the UnHeard of Islands?

MM III  

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Blogger MomThatsNuts said...

LOL I love it....nice dramatic recreation....

Happy HNT

Mom  

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Blogger Aisha T. said...

LMAO! That is hysterical! Talk about being caught with your pants down!  

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Blogger Carslemane Foraix said...

G,day mate.

You've been tagged over at my place.

This time its easy. Just Show Us Your Fridge.

Carsley  

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Blogger FunkyB said...

What a horrific tale! It sounds like a moment in the life of Larry David. Bless your heart, and HHNT.  

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Blogger Lee Ann said...

haha, I was wondering who that was in the picture. I knew it wasn't you!
Good story though!  

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Post a Comment

20 December 2005 at 08:59

christmas cold turkey

The buddhist hermit has stopped drinking. Again.

I have no intention of giving up beer, but I gave up drugs (green tea) at the weekend. It's been hell. Can't be bothered doing anything except sleep. This must be the retention deficit disorder reasserting itself over the OCD. Everything balances out.


The tea withdrawal is making me lose the place. For instance, I was at ray ray's blog the other day, and he said he suffered from OCD, ADD and RDD. So I asked him "what's RDD?"

He said "you should know, you told me about it - retention deficit disorder, remember?"

Silly me, I keep forgetting that amnesia is one of the symptoms.

Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Zeig! Glad to here your new disease has caught on! My favourite is the Narcissistic Personality Disorder. You can work at improving that one. I think 100 foot statues around the Unheard of Island would be a good start. Hope this helps. Hotboy  

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Blogger sasfdasfdljkfksdjkfjsd said...

wow, quitting the drugs sounds drastic, gl with that. :-)  

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Blogger Lee Ann said...

haha I haven't heard of RDD before!  

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Post a Comment

18 December 2005 at 13:32

going off at an inconvenient moment

This is nothing to do with the previous post. It's so hot here on the UnHeard Of Islands, that a whole barrel of beer went off while it was brewing. I had to pour it all down the drain. That's 70 bottles' worth!

The yeast was mugged by the wicked spoilage bacteria. Just when I had finally whittled my stash of 200-odd bottles down to the last half-dozen, through a rigorous program of after-work drinking. Now suddenly I'm going to run out of beer at Christmas. Funny how everything balances up.

I may even have to buy a six-pack or two to tide me over till the next brew comes to fruition. All that tax money going to the government, it's almost enough to put you off drinking.

Of course, I have already sterilised all the equipment and kicked off a new brew. You have to get straight back on the horse or lose your nerve. This batch should be ready just in time for New Year.

Meanwhile, the person who encouraged me to start drinking seriously this year has himself given up beer. I see his plan - drag me down to the gutter, then use me as a stepping stone on his way up. I'm always happy to help.



Thought for the day: "Omit needless words"
Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts.

--William Strunk, Jr., 1918

Blogger Carslemane Foraix said...

G'day Robbo. Spud (who had to hitch back here from the boozer) says he finds that pissing in a brew helps to stop it going off. I'm sure you've already tried that, though.  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Zeig! I fear the redback tboy  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Zeig! I fear the redback ... something weird happened in bloggland there and the comment disappeared!! As my agent in the Southern Hemisphere do you think I should go through my blog and delete all the posts I wrote when I was pissed? So when I start levitating and you make us all rich selling the video, people will look at the blog and think I was nice and send us more money. The worshipping classes don't like pissheads. As far as your brewing is concerned, you could always start on the pink, sticky stuff. Cover the cesspit first. This would help everyone within eyeshot. Hotboy  

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Blogger robmcj said...

HB - good plan. We just need to identify which are the posts where you come across as a nice person. Lee Ann is probably the person to ask, she seems able to see your nice side.

I hope this helps.

CF - strewth, is there anything Spud doesn't know about? Can you ask him what quantities to use? And does it have to be sober piss?  

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Blogger robmcj said...

After studying Lee Ann's film technique, I was inspired to produce a short dramatic feature.  

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Blogger Lee Ann said...

Oh, that was a cute film. Make sure to tell me before I drink a beer if it is one you have brewed! haha  

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Blogger Stone said...

I will be back to visit you. thanks for stopping place  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Zeig! What a fantastic movie! There might not be any reason for being at all of course! In which case, you might as well get into ra bliss because it's the bestest place to be. I hope this helps. Hotboy  

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Blogger Carslemane Foraix said...

Bonzer cartoon Robbo! Spud's watched it again and again, and thinks it should be made into a full-length movie.

He asked if Hotboy had lost the plot or if not, could he write one.

He said to me - "What's a sober piss, Carsley?"

At first he thought that the green martian character was himself, cos its actually quite like him.

What a dipstick.  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Zeig! Checked out the Stone blog. The boy's from the Bronx. He's seems like a romantic. He works out. Interesting blog. The Bronx. Wonder what he thinks of Mike Tyson. He's from the Bronx. Everybody's heard of the Bronx, but nobody's heard of the Unheard of Island! Hope this helps. Hotboy  

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Post a Comment

15 December 2005 at 03:06

HNT 9 - impotence

Yes, I can't deny it any longer - I'm impotent with women I'm not attracted to. Worse than that - even if I find a woman attractive, my "banana" won't function if I distrust or dislike her as a person. Oh, the shame of it! Please don't tell anyone.

This affliction means that the currently-fashionable hate-bonk is something I'll never experience. A pity-bonk is out of the question too, because of my freakish desire for rapport with a woman. Okay, I did once have sex with a grossly obese plain woman with no personality, but that was for a dare-bonk when I was young and reckless, and my banana disappeared to its full length without actually penetrating, so technically it doesn't count.

Let's do the math to calculate the enormity of my dysfunction. There's just over 3 billion women in the world, half the world population of 6,446,131,400 (source:CIA), and I'm physically attracted to about 10% of them. And if I got to know those 10% I would only like about 10% of them very much as people. That means that there are 3,190,835,000 women with whom I'd have a mushy banana. Oh, the humiliation! If I was a real man I could service any woman on demand, without even thinking about it.



It so happens that my partner is one of the remaining 32 million women in the world that I like and fancy. What luck!

Acknowledgement - Photoshop idea inspired by jaxe

HNT_1

PS - I knew a man once who had 5 willies. His underpants fitted like a glove.

Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Zeig! What can I say?
Your red scarf matches your eyes
You close your cover before striking
You gave me the St Louis Blues
Loving you has made me bananas.
Bonzo Dog DoDa Band, I think.
In the face of the worst venereal disease every seen, I hope this helps, but you're past it, I fear! Hotboy p.s
Can you now post as President Banana of the Unheard of Island?  

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Blogger Wenchy said...

LOL I love your pics.  

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Anonymous unshroud said...

Wow, a somewhat disturbing image, I have to say.... lol

I sometimes have these urges for more than one... but I usually picture them as being attached to different guys ;)

Happy HNT!

Annette  

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Blogger Lelly said...

Good Heavens! Can't you get a cream for that??!! (and I'm not talking whipped cream...on second thoughts though...:-)  

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Blogger sasfdasfdljkfksdjkfjsd said...

awesome photo, I have a slightly diff problem , i can perform the service but I just regret it later, you really didn't miss much.  

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Blogger Furzl said...

lmao. Brilliant as always. I will never view fruit the same again thanks to your hnt pics.

Happy HNT  

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Blogger Flygirl said...

Fantastic! You win the prize today!  

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Blogger bricotrout said...

why does the croed look only moderately impressed at best? i should think they would be wide eyed. wait a minute! is this photoshopped??? hmmmm  

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Blogger MomThatsNuts said...

I LOVE IT....
but Im kinda strange like that..,.

Mom  

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Blogger Jaxe said...

HAHAHAH! Bravo man, BRAVO! Great shot Rob! And WTF!? A penis with a conscious? Don't let that secret out or your going to ruin it for all of us, hehe.

Dangit, you stole my Newbomb Turk joke from Hollywood Nights (fits like a glove!)

And I already see, you and I will need to collaborate on a rotten photoshop/hnt idea! *mind starts to churn*

Happy HNT brother! *man hug*  

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Blogger * ! Libraaaa ! * said...

L M A O!!!! help i've fallen and i can't get up. OMG i can't stop laughing! what a great pic HHNT =)  

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Blogger Just Some Gal said...

Like Jaxe said... A penis...with a conscience???

*sigh*

Perhaps there are more Rob's out there. lol

I couldn't stop laughing though...the bananas reminded me of something else....haha

Happy HNT!  

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Blogger Mel said...

That's hilarious! Happy HNT!  

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Blogger Gyrobo said...

This is the kind of thing that makes me wonder if there's hope for humanity's future.

Then I just sit down and watch some more T.V.  

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Blogger lecram sinun said...

ROFLMAO! Thanks a bunch! Cheers and Happy HNT!  

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Blogger bsoholic said...

LOL! Great joke at the end too.

Happy HNT  

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Blogger littlefeet said...

great pic! :)

peace...  

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Blogger Tess said...

Great shot. I like visiting you, Rob.

Happy HNT!  

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Blogger Everything Nice said...

I love it! Wow, I actually laughed out loud at that!!!

Oh Rob, I totally love your blog... *sigh*

anytime i can assist with that impotence problem you just lemme know. I'll just lay here and wait.

Happy HNT honey, and thanks for stopping by to see me, and your nice comments. :)  

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Anonymous Tommy Gunn said...

Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. LOL Nice pic, is that what they call a ban-hydra, the many headed man banana? LOL HHNT  

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Blogger Still Searching... said...

Oh my! LOL. Great HNT!  

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Blogger Aisha T. said...

I am dying over here. That pic is something else. Hey, and if you aren't attracted, you aren't attracted. Whether its mind, body or a combo. I hate that when I think a guy is hot and he opens his mouth and pure drivel comes out. I don't have a banana but, something sinks!  

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Blogger barefoot_mistress said...

woweeeeee! What bananas you have my dear! Happy HNT!!!  

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Blogger FunkyB said...

Holy God in Heaven... there IS such a thing as the perfect man.
HHNT.  

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Blogger Lee Ann said...

whoa, nice ending Rob! Happy HNT!  

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Anonymous Hill said...

Am I the only one who thoroughly enjoyed the use of the word "bonk"?

Fantastic verbiage!

Enjoyed your blog.(First time here, but I'll be back!)  

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Blogger kimmyk said...

hehe!
you do the best pictures!
(and stories to go along with 'em)see if your friend will do a HNT post. (the one who wears the glove...lol)  

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Blogger Carslemane Foraix said...

G'day Robbo.

Always suspected you were a banana bender.  

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Blogger HS said...

Sounds like your second head truely does have a mind of its own :)

I loved this post..well done!  

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Blogger lo sciocco said...

hands down... my favorite of the week.
Happy belated HNT  

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Blogger Shain A said...

What makes you a REAL man? This is a question of manhood. For men, they have to be able and willing to perform all night long. I love to be intimate with my partner as long as I want but what about when I’m tired or had a rough day at work. http://www.besthealthmed.com/viagra_ed.html  

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Post a Comment

14 December 2005 at 05:08

mind mapping music

There are some sites that are just made for music junkies like me.

At Music Map you type in the name of a band and you see a sort of 3-D (2-and-a-bit-D, really) representation of where that band fits in amongst other bands. You can use it to discover new music, or to better understand popular music history.

Music Map is just a visual representation of music, but at Pandora you can actually hear your music on a personalised juke box. What you do is type in the name of a band or musician or song that you like and, based on your perceived tastes, the site will create a streaming radio station of other songs you may like too. You can create multiple stations.

Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Zeig! What happened to the fraulein in jackboots photies? That's what the fans want! Honest! Hope this helps. Hotboy  

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Blogger robmcj said...

Sorry, but market research by my colleagues at the Institute has revealed what people really want - more still life photos of me with fruit.  

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Blogger Gyrobo said...

Music isn't the language of the soul, as physicists would have you believe. It's actually electricity.  

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Blogger Lee Ann said...

You always have the coolest links!  

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Blogger Lee Ann said...

ok....where is the HNT?  

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Post a Comment

11 December 2005 at 15:27

competitions

At the same time as the draw for the 2006 World Cup was announced, another announcement took place - the winner of the awful writing competition. I was the favourite to win, but because the judges used the same voting system as the 2000 U.S. election, the result was a fiddle.

But I've found another competition that I'm almost certain to win. Lee Ann posted about OCD, and as everyone was leaving comments it developed into an OCD competition.

It turns out that virtually every commenter there, including me, has the same symptoms! Lee Ann has stumbled on a new scientific principle, and she has agreed to be a co-author of my next McDonald Institute research monograph - OCD Incidence Amongst Bloggers.

There were only 2 non-OCD commenters, and they were both Scottish. This doesn't surpise me. In Scotland, OCD is almost unknown. They're too busy vomiting and knifing each other.

I can thank my mother's German wartime childhood under an authoritarian father for my own OCD. But I also suffer from retention deficit disorder, which has the opposite symptoms - sufferers don't care about anything and often live in filthy squalor. I can thank my Scots father for passing this on to me. It balances out my OCD, that's why I'm so normal overall.

There's one OCD symptom that I don't have, but my aunt (one of the ringed hands in my last HNT photo) has it in spades. At her house she makes everyone wipe down the hand basin (and the shower) after every use. She inspects the bathroom after you've used it, and there's hell to pay if there's a stray drop of water. Even if I was to go along with this, it would generate its own OCD sub-problem. Think about it: you've finished wiping the basin, and supposing you want to floss your teeth, you don't want to put basin-cloth fingers in your mouth, so you need to wash them first - in the basin! You'd never get out of the bathroom.

So when I visit her, I never shower at her house, as a protest and to avoid friction. Instead I use the local swimming pool showers. And I may buy a packet of wet wipes next time I visit, so I need never wash my hands in the basin either.

I won't bore you with my aunt's rules about using the toilet, but you can imagine why my uncle used to pee in the garden.

I have one extra symptom that Lee Ann doesn't have, and this is going to win me the prize. I store video tapes in order of fullness, so all the full ones are at one end and the blanks at the other end. And the part-empty ones are ranged in the middle, in order of how much blank space is left on them. I'm sure nobody else does that.



I found a new toy at jazz's blog. If the figure gets stuck, you can help her with your mouse.

What do you think?

Sources acknowledged.

Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Zeig! The calvinist toilet training strikes again! OCD is far too time consuming. Living in filthy squalor is comfortable. Once I stayed in a flat and had only one pair of sheets. For over a year they stayed in that bed. They went a funny colour. When they came out, they came out in bits. I hope this helps you with your new disease. Hotboy  

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Blogger Lee Ann said...

Wow,that new toy is wild! Fun and a little freaky!
I am sorry for your grandfather having to pee in the garden! ahaha
I promise, my tendancies for OCD are not nearly that bad.

Rob, Come to the castle and tell me what is "in your name"!  

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Blogger sasfdasfdljkfksdjkfjsd said...

I think I'm just a little bit OCD, ADHD, and RDD as well.  

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Blogger robmcj said...

HB - thanks for the advice, actually my Scottish side already does the bedsheet thing, it helps to balance out all the jackboot stuff.

LA - "Romeo Obligingly Bestowing Massage and Carnal Joy"

RR - and competitive too? ;-) Your cocktail of qualifications (what's RDD?) may just outrank mine. I salute you.  

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Post a Comment

08 December 2005 at 04:04

HNT 8 - the familyship of the ring

This is just to prove Lee Ann is not the only one who can do tasteful. Hotboy asked if I would post another banana still life, but he'll need to wait till next week.


My grandfather had identical rings made for his immediate family, and when he and his wife died their rings were handed on to my brother and me.

The 4 people left in the family only ever meet up once every 5 years or so, and this photo was taken at our last meeting, in Scotland in 2003.

They are signet rings, and they actually work - I once used mine to seal a letter to a lover with wax. Despite what the rings may say about my ancestor's social pretensions, I am proud to wear mine, especially here at the other end of the earth from my surviving family.

The design of the signet uses a Huguenot crest: rose, heart and cross. Once, I was on holiday in a 400-year-old French farmhouse, with a group of free range actors, bikers, musicians and head-cases (I'm not saying which group I identified with, but I don't bike or act, and I left my ukulele at home). At the time, I was breaking up with Angie, and trying to sell our flat in Glasgow via phone from France.

Anyway, under the old farmhouse kitchen, there was a dark dank cellar. And in the cellar floor there was a flagstone you could lift, leading to a tiny cell called a priest's hidey-hole. In the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries, genocidal French catholics chased most of the Huguenots out of the country, but a few brave souls chose to go into hiding in hidey-holes like this one.

To relieve his boredom, one of these fugitives had spent weeks or months carving this crest into the stone wall of the cell. When I saw that his handiwork matched my ring, I knew I was in the right place at the right time.


It is hundreds of years since the catholics chased these people into hiding, but some things never change. I know a catholic buddhist meditator who chases bliss in a cell.
HNT_1

Sources acknowledged.

Blogger Lee Ann said...

Wow, such a cool ring, and cool story. Those are great memories.
Thanks for the link...you are so sweet!
Happy HNT!  

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Blogger lecram sinun said...

Beautiful and a great read! Cheers and happy HNT!  

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Blogger Red said...

Neat post and pic :)  

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Blogger lime said...

what a beautiful shot of the 4 rings, what a wonderful story and how great that you have this heirloom. really a wonderful post. happy HNT!  

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Blogger barefoot_mistress said...

Wow, that's really cool! Great story, lovely rings, and wonderful memories! Happy HNT!  

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Blogger Rose-Colored Beer Goggles said...

Thanks for sharing! I love the hands - even the wrinkles. They are proof of life experiences. Cheers :o)  

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Blogger Butterfly said...

Awesome pics!

Happy HNT!  

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Blogger Wenchy said...

This is just so awesome. I feel all sentimental now.  

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Adolf! Zeig! Interesting stuff, but the photies didn't show on my machine. I'll try again later. Hotboy  

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Blogger sasfdasfdljkfksdjkfjsd said...

wow, that's really cool, I don't think it's pretentious, it's good to be proud as long as you're not arrogant. :-)

I was here last week but glitches were hiding your comment section and part of your post so I couldn't comment.  

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Blogger robmcj said...

Hotboy - Blogger and/or the net has been slow tonight (day your time), maybe you need to wait while the pics download (also I should have made them a bit smaller, sorry).  

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Blogger Furzl said...

The pic of the hands is just awesome. Its my favourite pic for HNT today. The story is really special. Happy HNT  

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Blogger FFFrapgirl said...

That is the coolest thing I ever saw!!!!!!!!!! Awesome HNT!!!!!!!!!!  

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Blogger Flygirl said...

Love it. Very interesting.  

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Blogger Quiet said...

That is a great story and the photo says so much. Excellent job.  

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Blogger MamaKBear said...

Very cool ring and wonderful story behind it. Love the pic!
Happy HNT!  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Heil! The photies came up this evening alright! Are there only three folk's hands in the photie? Did someone in your family eat the other person and steal the ring? Hope this helps. Hotboy  

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Blogger AndyT13 said...

Awesome! Happy HNT!  

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Blogger Tess said...

That is a fabulous photo and a beautiful story.

Happy HNT!  

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Anonymous Tommy Gunn said...

Excellent ring and a great tale to go with it. Happy (tasteful and interesting) HNT  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Heil! Why did that chap stick the ring up his bum? Doesn't help me either. Hotboy  

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Blogger Still Searching... said...

I absolutely love that pic. The hands...very nice indeed.  

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Blogger FunkyB said...

That's a phenominal story. HHNT.  

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Blogger Aisha T. said...

Wow! The pic was really cool but, the story behind it was amazing. Not pretentious but, something to be very proud of!  

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Blogger jazz said...

that's amazing. knowing those rings are on in different parts of the world, connecting you all still...

so jealous! ;)  

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Blogger MomThatsNuts said...

Happy (almost NOT thursday anymore) HNT....so awesome!!!

Mom  

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Blogger Jaxe said...

Incredible photo Rob. Moving beyond belief. The wisdom in those hands and rings. Spiritual ;-) Great shot and happy hnt, brother!  

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Blogger Ariella said...

Love it, what a great story to go with a wonderful photo, thank you!
Happy HNT  

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Blogger kimmyk said...

That is a fabulous story!! And a beautiful ring. Very cool you used yours to seal a letter to an ex lover...memories huh???

So you and your brother have two...who has the other two?  

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Blogger Menzies Milngavie III said...

I say!

Wonderful thread!

MM III  

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Blogger JayneSays said...

Hey there! I forgot about HNT . . . I loved the picture, story and sentiment of your post. : )  

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Blogger Carslemane Foraix said...

G'day. The Awful Writing Competition results are now available over at my place.  

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Blogger robmcj said...

kimmyk - the mother and her sister.

jazz - I've just realised, the rings normally live in 4 different countries - Scotland, Germany, Switzerland, and the UnHeard and McDonald Islands.

hotboy - Would you like to know what you can stick up your own bum?

ray ray - apologies re the IE/template glitches, thanks for persevering.

furzl - you're kind.  

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Post a Comment

06 December 2005 at 20:04

name that beard

Here's a 2-minute game that's easy to play, but hard to get all the questions right. The idea is to match beards with famous names: Name That Beard

Sources acknowledged.

Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Zeig! This serial killer flashed up with a big loud noise so I ran away in terror. That's more like it. Blitzkreig! Hope this helped you. Hotboy  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Zeig! This serial killer flashed up with a big loud noise so I ran away in terror. That's more like it. Blitzkreig! Hope this helped you. Hotboy  

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Blogger Lee Ann said...

I didn't do so well...I got 7! :(  

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Post a Comment

05 December 2005 at 12:19

engineering a better mouse

Last week I was reading some of the computer journals and I came across some interesting research findings.


It seems that cognitive science engineers have discovered that women have more problems than men when using a standard computer mouse.


They found that there is not a physical reason for this; it is more of a cognitive problem. Some women reported that computer mice have never 'felt right' in their hands.


Based on this research, a new mouse has been designed especially for women. They have done field tests on the new prototype, and there was feedback from some women who have tried it:



"I think mice were originally designed just for men, but this new type is definitely made for women. It fits right in with my lifestyle".

"It feels so much better. More comfortable, more like how it's supposed to be".

"I took to it like a duck to water, every woman should have one!"




Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! That was funny! Hotboy  

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Blogger Lelly said...

Rob thanks for stopping by my HNT. I would have liked to have commented on yours but your site wouldn't let me scroll down far enough to either:
A) finish reading your harrowing story
B) leave a comment
I thought your scar pics form last week were 'a joke'because you made so light of it...had no idea it was genuine! Hope you are fully recovered and fighting fit now? (I could only read as far as the young nurse reversing the drain procedure...arrgh!)

This mouse would never work for me...ironing is probably my least favourite domestic task! Now if they could somehow combine mouse dexterity with the consumption of chocolate...:-)  

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Blogger Lee Ann said...

haha... I will stick to my own mouse. I don't think that new one would fit in my hand too well!
I could think of other designs that would be even better! ;)  

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Blogger robmcj said...

HB - one does what one can to bring a little light into people's lives.

lelly - thanks for the feedback, sorry about the scrolling, I'm guessing you're using IE? The template is optimised for firefox and opera, I haven't found a way to remove the IE glitches.

LA - you are naughty but I like you.  

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Blogger Menzies Milngavie III said...

I say Robmcj!

One can sometimes overcome that scrolling problem by resizing the browser.

Doviko was most interested in the iron/mouse. He's a dab hand at the ironing. My shirts, handkerchiefs and even undies are always perfectly creased. I have not told him it was a humorous entry...how cruel of me.

MM III  

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Blogger Carslemane Foraix said...

G'day Robbo, and another hot one it looks like. Strewth - when's that slab going to arrive?

Found this picture which I thought you might appreciate.  

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Post a Comment

01 December 2005 at 09:01

HNT 7 - gory story

About 15 brave people asked about the full story behind the last week's scar photo. Well here is the real story. Once again, I should warn people who are squeamish about blood and scars - bail out now before it's too late. I promise next week's HNT post will be more aesthetic, probably another still life with bananas.



Many years ago, Angie and I decided to split up. She bought her air ticket back to Australia, and I arranged to drive her down to London and see her off at Heathrow. All very civilised.

There was one minor complication - I had been waiting months for a hospital appointment for a biopsy on a lump in my neck. My appointment had already been cancelled several times, because of nationwide nurses' and doctors' strikes. But I badgered the health admin folk till they did the biopsy, and on the day before driving Angie to London I got the results.

You know the expression "his hair stood on end"? I always thought it was just something they said in detective and horror stories.

All those years of whisky and cigarettes were paying off, in the worst way. Surgeon number 1, embarrassed, tried to cheer me up: "you're very lucky really - the best specialist in these cases works here in Glasgow, he's agreed to see you next week, and he'll be able to do any plastic surgery that you need". He made it sound almost like winning the lottery.

I went to see Surgeon no 2, who made a long phone call to the pathology lab. I couldn't hear what the pathologist was saying at the other end, but at this end the surgeon intermittently sucked air through his teeth and said things like "what a pity" and "oh dear". It seems I had hit the jackpot, with TWO different types of cancer in one. That's when I discovered the proverb: for every door that closes behind you, another slams shut in your face.

A week later, while Angie was in London consulting her friends over what to do with her life, I drove myself to hospital and checked in to get my neck opened up and lose the cancer and a few glands, nerves, and anything else they could take without turning me into a total Frankenstein. They would have amputated my head, if they could have done it without killing me.

When I awoke after the operation, I had a few stitches and drains, but I actually felt like a million dollars. The good old British health service had come through for me, in spite of all the government cost-cutting and the nurses' strikes.

I looked around, and saw that the guy in the bed next to me had his eyes all bandaged up. I asked him what he was in for. "A nose job, 2 weeks ago". So then I asked him - why the blindfold after a nose job, and why the long recovery period? He explained that, as he was coming out of the anaesthetic, he felt a blinding pain in both eyes - 2 student nurses had been cleaning his face with surgical spirit while he was still out cold, and they didn't realise you shouldn't spill alcohol into someone's eyes. And being semi-conscious he couldn't scream to alert them. His eyeballs were partially dissolved.

My own turn to experience amateur nursing came next day, when a sexy student nurse was given the job of removing the drained-off blood from the bottle at the end of my tube.

But she switched the pump the wrong way, and pumped the stale blood back into my wound and out through the stitches. The pain was almost worth enduring, just to have a nubile teenager at such close quarters. She could drain my tube any day.

A month later they started giving me what someone at a noisy party once misheard as videotherapy ("Rob, I didn't know they could use video therapy now"). Actually, watching videos would have been almost as much use - the radiotherapy doc explained that my type of cancer wasn't really helped by radiation, "so we'll have to give you extra doses". It felt like sunburn in 3D.


For a while, I looked like an audition for a horror film - the students in my lectures that semester were strangely quiet and well-behaved.

Angie and I decided to stay together after all. Sweet. My father came to Glasgow to meet me in a pub, and he apologised selectively for some of the beatings when I was young. He must have thought it would be his last chance. A few years later he did the decent thing and died before me.

There are several permanent side-effects, but let me tell you, it's a lot better than being dead. And there were benefits. I'm unlikely to ever develop heart problems from being overweight. You too can solve your weight problems for life by getting cancer, but I'm not recommending it. There are no real scars, not physical anyway.

After that kind of experience you either use it to make your life better than before, or you go downhill. I've heard of people drinking themselves to death waiting for a recurrence that never came. These days I'm pretty well cured - I just need to keep doing the Half Narcissistic Therapy every week.

HNT_1

PS - if you'd like to chill out after reading that, try some international back care exercises.

Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Zeig! The top photie where you're having the brains sucked out the back of your head with the tube ... is particulary good. You look suitably surprised by how little brain has come into the concertina bottle. Did you squeeze it all back in or did you lose some? Hope this helps. Hotboy  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Heil! I hope you're only joking about going back to the fruit funging photies. Hotboy  

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Blogger Wenchy said...

I'm glad you are okay.  

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Blogger lime said...

wow, what a story. glad it worked out and you are healthy, but what a scare. happy HNT  

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Anonymous Furzl said...

Wow that is some story Thanks for sharing. You got some courage  

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Blogger Lee Ann said...

Wow Rob, That is really something. I am sorry you had to endure that. You are a strong person, for one, making it through all of that and for two, sharing it with everyone.
I hope you continue to see brighter days and remain the strong soul that you are.
Happy HNT!  

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Blogger MamaKBear said...

Wow! Sorry you had to go through that! Glad you and Angie worked things out too.
HappY HNT!!  

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Blogger Queen of Ass said...

Geez! Wow! Glad you're alright now.

HHNT!  

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Blogger Scott & Julia said...

Wow, that is quite the horror story. Had that happened here, that pretty little doctor would have had her ass sued multiple times! Glad to hear you're doing so much better now! Happy HNT!

Btw, I love the Glasgow back therapy :)  

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Blogger hotboy said...

Adolf! Zeig again! Your old man apologised for some of the beatings (even selectively)? What a wimp! So what's your beef with him then? Didn't you say fair enough, old man, and shake his hand? This is bound to help. Hotboy  

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Blogger Quiet said...

Wow, that was intense. I am glad your ok.  

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Blogger * ! Libraaaa ! * said...

wow that was deep. thanks for sharing that story...

*i'd hug u right now if i could* =)

u r such a strong man & thats why u r here today. cancer is one fucked up disease! i wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy. [i lost my mom to cervical cancer 6yrs ago b/c she wasnt a fighter, she just gave up] so i am happy to hear that u took care of business and now ur enjoying life to the fullest!

OHHH btw HHNT lol...and thank you for the great comment on my blog and for taking the time to read my previous post! :p  

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Blogger Tess said...

Holy hell. Thank you for sharing that story. I am so glad you recovered from that and are here with us now.

Happy HNT!  

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Blogger FunkyB said...

What a horrific story! At least your eyeballs didn't dissolve though, right?
HHNT.  

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Blogger Flygirl said...

Wow. I'm speechless. And that doesn't happen often.  

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Blogger Ariella said...

holy fucking hell!
That IS gory!
On my pic of the rod from my leg, if you click to enlarge you can see the bone that grew through the screw holes that they had to saw loose.  

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Blogger Menzies Milngavie III said...

I say old chap,

Quite a to-do you experienced, obviously. Bit of a rum deal, if you ask me. However, I expect its all very character forming in the long-run, in a peculiar way.

MM III  

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Blogger kimmyk said...

That's such an amazing story.
The story I had made up in my head was much better....girl catches ya with another girl...a fight ensues...pulling of hair...bitch pulls out a knife..you step in to save the one you love..and the psycho one cuts ya...as your blood spills out of your arteries your true love whisks you away and takes you to the hospital where dr big boobs saves your life...and you live happily ever after.

ok so it didn't go down quite like that...too much damn Lifetime TV messes with my head.

I'm glad you're ok....great story.....  

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Blogger Eric said...

You should say you got your scar from fighting at Goose Bay with 42 Commando in the Falkland War. You could have gotten shot while storming an Argentinian machine gun position whilst at the same time saving your squad from certain death. You can say that you've lost your Victoria Cross at some unfortunate Poker game...  

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Blogger Just Some Gal said...

ack, I'm sorry!! I commented last night.

What a horrifying experience. I'm glad it all ended up ok though. Thank you so much for sharing!

I am so aggravated that my comment didn't show up. :-(  

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Blogger addict said...

Sorry I got over here so late... I'm a day or so behind.
What an amazing story, and what an amazing person to have come through the experience as "put together" as you are...
Glad you were there for cancer as opposed to a nose job...  

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Blogger Jaxe said...

Rob, thanks so much for sharing that with us. I really do consider HNT a little community for mutual support. And blogs are great therapy (I mean, I canceled my shring a few weeks back!) I give you a big *man hug* and pat on the back for your fantastic, never-say-die attitude. It reminds us all to be thankful to be here, and treat each other well.

and this little morsel:

But she switched the pump the wrong way, and pumped the stale blood back into my wound and out through the stitches. The pain was almost worth enduring, just to have a nubile teenager at such close quarters. She could drain my tube any day.

ROB FOR MAYOR OF HNT! Brilliant my friend. Be safe, HNT Brother!  

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Blogger robmcj said...

Thanks to all for the kind feedback.  

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Blogger Gyrobo said...

Just another reason to sue.  

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